Since 1997, a multitude of books have critiqued or affirmed Harris’ approach, while others have nuanced it, often teaching similar principles but without the use of the controversial word “courtship.” Courtship has continued to be a hot-button issue, especially in very conservative Christian circles.
It was Harris who established courtship as a legitimate alternative to dating, and it is feasible that the modern courtship movement would not exist had it not been for , a book he wrote after marrying his wife, Shannon.
Where many followed the book’s counsel and avoided the relational difficulties and baggage that so often come hand-in-hand with casual dating, others insist it led to confusion and anxiety when it came to forming relationships and finding a marriage partner.
Writing from the perspective of personal experience, Harris says that in place of this kind of “dumb love,” Christians ought to emphasize “smart love.” Where dumb love is primarily concerned with self, smart love begins with a love for God and matures into love and concern for others.Smart love manifests itself in courtship, which is simply dating with purpose.This updated version includes a new foreword, a new chapter, an all-new “8 Great Courtship Conversations” section, and some updated material throughout.8 Great Courtship Conversations One of my favorite parts of the updated edition of Boy Meets Girl is the new guide for couples called “courtship conversations.” So many couples I know want something more than just dinner and a movie–these are just fun and easy-to-pull-off date ideas that include get-to-know-you questions meant help couples grow in their friendship and learn more of who the other person really is.In 2009 he wrote an article titled “What I’ve Learned Since I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and here he said he stands by the basic message of the book: that short-term romantic attachments can be a big distraction from serving God—especially for teenagers.
However, he also explained how his book had proven divisive in some contexts: I’ve also seen that a legalistic application of these ideas can be unhelpful, too.
For many Christians, this was the first time they had considered the issue.
Harris was not interesting in re-introducing ancient models of courtship and romance as much as he wished to call couples to consider dating with purpose. It was read and discussed in youth groups around the world and caused countless teens to consider an alternative to casual dating.
This morning I am beginning a new Sunday series called “The Bestsellers.” The Evangelical Christian Publishers Association tracks sales of Christian books, and awards the Platinum Book Award for books whose sales exceed one million, and the Diamond Book Award for sales exceeding ten million.
In this series I will look at the history and impact of some of the Christian books that have sold more than a million copies—no small feat when the average Christian books sells only a few thousand.
Josh grew up outside Portland, Oregon, and professed faith in Christ as a teenager.