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However it will still be a couple of micro-seconds for all the operations. So if i synchronize(think this will avoid deadlocks) the access to user DB can i expect a similar performance ?

If i dont synchronize it may lead to dead locks between threads.

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I'm not sure how you can realistically expect anyone to determine where the bottle-necks are by merely looking at the source code. An execution plan will show you if/when indexes are being used with your queries; if you are performing seeks or scans etc on the tables.

To find the bottlenecks, you should run your app and the load test with a profiler attached, such as JVisual VM or Your Kit or JProfiler. Can you please give me an idea how to implement the same functionality in java without RDBMS ( i mean the connecting user and stranger code) . by using these, you can tweak your query/indexes/tables to be more optimal.

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Should i use some collections for storing user objects ? As others have stated, RDMS wont be your best option in large scale applications, but since you are just starting out it should be ok until you learn more.