When you became interested in women, you started playing a game where you didn’t know the rules, so it follows that you would never win, in this case, the cards were really stacked against you.
I call them “rules”, but they are really natural laws, ways I believe God has designed the world of men and women to work, of the same nature as other natural laws, like gravity.
If a girl gets interested, but doesn’t stay interested, that’s actually a really good sign!
He says humorous things, because he is relaxed and secure, the same way it’s always easier to be funny around your friends, you are relaxed and secure with them.
This is also why attempts to be confident or funny fail when you directly pursue them.
You may want to research your conviction to see if it is true, but nothing is worth a bad conscience. Try to keep perspective, as CS Lewis talks about in the Screwtape Letters, we are all subject to the “law of undulation”, energy, interest, and ability are not static or linear. It can often be a good idea to relax with a massage. And you have to tell your lover what bothers you and what ticks may correct them.
At the same time, you have to be prepared to hear that you’re not perfect either.
Your mind sees things clearly even if you can’t verbalize it, if you think a course of action is leading you towards feelings of embarassment and despair, of course you’re going to get nervous, of course you’re going to want to get out of there, or not approach a girl at all. Using a woman that you have no real interest in as a test subject for getting better at this “skill” is wrong.
In the old days they used to call it leading someone on.
Unfortunately it’s also true that trying to be confident and funny leads to a man bombing nine times out of ten.
Knowing your attempts fail, however can lead you to the key to creating instant real attraction to women. The thing is, confident, funny behaviors are “secondary”.
Nervousness, and, if you admit it to yourself, fear of what you’ll think of yourself if she does shut you down, the real cause of “fear of rejection”. You know the sort of thing that happens, people tell you that if you just think things will turn out right they will, but you also know the first time it doesn’t turn out right your belief in “Positive Thinking” falls apart, and you’re left feeling just as alone and desperate as before, probably worse. What do you need to know and do to get this handled?